Organizing...the slew of adoption paperwork

This week we had another meeting towards our adoption finalization (Post Placement). After all the months and months of the initial home-study (filing, petitioning, physicals/medical, finger printing, social workers...) you find yourself knee deep in parenthood (for the 3rd time for us) as you hold your baby and you soon forget that there is still much more to be done. Today I quoted one of our adoption mentors - "these are our labor pains". Yes, even though we do not carry a child in our womb, we go through our own form of labor pains. Come to think of it, it's a little more than 9/10 months (in the state of California because we seem to process adoptions slowly).

Today was a hard day, even my poor son who had stomach issues today said he had a tough day today. It's been a rough few weeks of post adoption come to think of it. But today I realized that I had not filed ALL of my paperwork at home and I had a lot of papers jammed into one small folder. BIG PROBLEM. One whole packet went missing. No bueno. I have two perfect accordion folder chalk full of paperwork, fully organized, and right now I'm kicking myself that I hadn't done the same thing this time around, BEFORE I lost a packet of copies I need ASAP. 

You will soon gather a slew of paperwork. A LOT and at every part of this journey until that final court date - the applications, matching, placement, health and genetic history, social workers and homestudy, post adoption reports, finalizing and getting all the documents properly filed. Don't forget the communication with the birth family. In this digital age things have become easier, less personal, easier nonetheless. I will write more on communication at the end of this post. 

If you are just starting out in your adoption journey, you will soon find out that adoption takes a lot of laboring (pun intended). Every adoption is different. You will meet the same people, roughly, and you will end up in the same court, but every birth-bio family is different and that makes it a different journey every time. Laws change and that also makes paperwork a guessing game. Although the same paperwork is needed, in a sense, you still need to adjust year to year. Not to mention if you adopt out of state. The word ICPC still gives me a headache to this very day {The Interstate Compact for the Placement of Children (ICPC) is an agreement among states to coordinate the transfer and placement of children across state lines}. Even the definition is stressful :\ 

My goal is to write a couple of "what to expect" blogs for adoption. I'm sure it's out there on other blogs, but I hope this helps as well. 

Filing, organization and paperwork to-do's 

1. Make copies of EVERYTHING! 

(Emails, agency paperwork and questionnaires, profile picture pages, social worker/ social service provider paperwork, attorney paperwork, birth-parent information, post placement information, court documents, personal documentation, physicals/health, hospital paperwork and all homestudy documents...)

* you will need a scanner or if you have an iPhone, there is an app called Genius Scan that I use. Genius App here . Also to keep records of all the people you come in contact you can use SamCard app that allows you to scan and save straight from their business card.

2. Make sure you file everything immediately. Buy an accordion file of sorts. (Paperwork listed above)

I use this Expanding pocket file

3. Have a hard copy of everyone's contact on file. You break phones, lose contacts...anything can happen.

4. Trace all your email and file them in folders in your email system. Then print out a hard copy for your filing system.

5. When meeting people (i.e Hospitals, social workers, attorneys, home study facilitators, agency...) ask them for a copy of any paperwork BEFORE you finalize. They may not have the authority to release anything to you afterwards. If they can not use their copier, ask if you can take a picture of the document. Aside from paperwork being lost, having to fill out the same form over and over again for different people (social workers), you may also adopt again and you will have to fill out the same information. Trust me, it makes it easier not to start from scratch. 

6. Put all your file folders (and baby books) in a fire proof safe. There may never be a way to retrieve these documents again. 

7. Have a file folder just for pending forms/information needed. With the slew of paperwork you'll be drowning in, you will need to keep all your checklists handy from social workers and attorneys of what is needed next. 

- File every adoption profile

- File your paperwork

my labels: Attorneys, Social Workers (Pre and Post), Homestudy, Agency, Birth records (including health records), Financial, Travel (if needed), Birthmom communication, Scrapbook items (this is for when I pick up something I know I'll put in a scrapbook in the future).

- File folder for pending information 

You will be given checklists from Social Workers / Homestudy worker / Post Placement Social Worker and you will need to keep them all at your finger tip. 

8. Communication with the Birth family is important. Our link to the birth family is also our child's link to his or her journey. I believe that adoption is a calling from God and the child's journey is a divine appointment. It is up to you how much communication you have. Our attorney has a "roadmap to adoption" which is a setting up of sorts on how we will communicate and how much. Details included. Before the digital age, I used to mail letters and send printed copies of pictures. Old school right? Lol. Now, emailing and texting seems quicker and easier. I also have a shutterfly shared site where I only give access to the birthmoms. Completely restricted which makes it nice. If you have an iPhone you can upload right and purchase from your phone with this shutterfly app and view and organize it as well with this app shutterfly share site app. I think they also have an android version. Staying organized after you finalize is also important. It is daunting (especially when you have multiple children) and keeping up with pictures gets harder to accomplish. This shutterfly account is not only for pictures. It allows you to make comments, news and milestones, add videos and so much more.

I hope to post again regarding paperwork, the names and numbers identifying the forms your come across and what to expect. What comes first and what you should never let slip through the cracks. I thank God that by now I have an awesome attorney that knows us, a wonderful social service provider that is SUPER thorough, an "agency" that is mostly a ministry that encourages birthmothers and a post placement social worker that is amazing to work with. Today was our social worker's first time seeing a "3rd child placement" family. We have been with her every time. I feel special!! 

I'm not sure who's being encouraged by my words after going through this 3 times, but if you are being encouraged or if you have any questions, leave me a message and I will try to respond as best as I can.

I wanted to add a link to something I came across on Facebook. Hope this encourages those that have been through adoption!! dear moms of adopted children

Spring rewards....let's try this again.

As spring come upon us in Homeschooling (with a newborn in the house) our motivation to finish school work was diminishing. Not just the kids, but myself included. We took a couple months off (kind of) after the baby was born and it became harder and harder to come back full force. I wanted to share the "rewards" system we implemented. 

In October, while my husband was doing relief work in New Jersey after Hurricane Sandy hit, I became desperate for a solution for my kids constant battle and my parenting skills in understanding them. I couldn't understand how to make them get along, like the same things, not complain about each other, blah blah blah... you know. I knew their "love languages" and tried to implement those, but it didn't always make us get along. I could not get passed how I felt when my son would say or do things that I found disrespectful, while he didn't see the error of his ways. So I found this book The Child Whisperer by Carol Tuttle. I love self-help books and all my christian parenting books. I have to say that as a christian mom, I have to give my little disclaimer. It is NOT a typical christian book and it doesn't claim to be. You can research her and decide if you want to read it. It's a self-help. Use it as a tool and ALWAYS seek God's guidance first. Raising our children in the ways of the Lord comes first, in molding a God fearing heart in your child.

What I loved about this book is: Easy quick explanation about the 4 types and constant "tips". She does not stereotype your child, just gives you an insight to these types. 

When I read it, I read type 3 first. I saw the word "physical" and new that had to be my first born. It was like she was describing him to the T. As I read it, it give me tips and explained things that made me realize... HE ISN'T BEING RUDE TO ME BECAUSE HE HATES ME. He didn't have a horrible sinful heart. I just didn't understand his way and therefor HE himself didn't understand "why" he did what he did. He was beginning to think he was just plain BAD. That ripped my heart out. He wasn't a bad kid, he just has a "push through, no aim just fire, get it done determination". What I love about the book is that she says that the world sees these are bad things and stereotypes us, when they are truly more of a blessing. It's part of who they are and how God created them. So you just redirect it and praise them for the blessings of their gifts. So for my son, I would say "You are so direct, I love that, but sometimes mama is a little more sensitive and it can come across as harsh." Instead of telling them "that was rude!" and feeling like they hate you, work around it and understand that all the members of your family may be "different". I explained to my son that he was different than his brother. His brother is a type 1, which just wants everyone happy and wants to have FUN! This child doesn't like to be pushed and the type 3 likes to push. OY!  It's still a working process, but they give me the look of "you understand me" vs the look of "I feel so alone and no one understands me".

Ok, so I promise I did not digress. I had to explain this book (very briefly). So that you can understand the reward system I made. Let's review: 

type 1 says "I have an idea! It will be so much fun!" 

type 2 says "ok let's make a plan for that idea...."

type 3 says "plan is taking a long time, let's just get it DONE and GO!"

type 4 says "let's look at the big picture and see how we can make it better."

If you read the book it will go into detail! 

I created the reward system as an extension in understanding them and motivating them. If you think about it, we all work for a living, and get rewards. While kids go to school and we tell them they have to complete it all "just because". God rewards us for our hard work and our diligence and this should be an example to them and raise them to be hardworking in whatever they set their mind on. Even if you are a type 1 and just want to have FUN ;)

Here is a snapshot of the reward system I created, gathering all the info I found in videos for "schooling" these types. You can use it for Homeschool, homework or just personal rewards from chores and such. 

Here is how it works. Obey quickly, cheerfully and completely. It's a "daily" reward. If your child doesn't complete their task or if they don't do it in a timely manner (which was my problem), than they have tomorrow to try again. The work ultimately has to be completed, but they miss out on that days rewards. 

They are laid out according to the types. Type 1, Fun reward. Type 2, quality time. Type 3, Cash. Type 4, Free time. I don't have a type 2 or 4 yet, but my husband and I are those types so we tried to figure it out that way. PLEASE leave me a comment if you think of something for those types! I would LOVE that. 

If you are interested in the PDF/JPG of these pages, please leave me a comment and I would gladly share it. I am a graphic designer by trade so this is one of the little ways I can still create. LOL. Here is what the file looks like. This won't be a full resolution if you chose to print as is... 


{Click to enlarge your view}

Let me know if you use it or if you want me to share ;)

"In all the work you are given, do the best you can. Work as though you are working for the Lord, not any earthly Master." Colossians 3:23

Our {changed} Journey....

It's been 1 whole year since I wrote on my blog. A couple reasons. First, the health of my family. Second, our newest addition to our family. Last year (almost exactly) when I stopped writing in my blog, my husband found out he had cancer once again. It was the most unexplainable feeling that we had ever felt. So many things went through our minds. Survival, our faith, our family, our marriage....the next year would be uncertain. This is the same cancer that my husband had as a toddler. The chances of him having this same cancer was almost 0%. Yes, no likelihood of it growing in the same area, but it hit in the same place once again. It came in a routine check-up. We had noticed some changes in my husband. He was tired, his strength was lessening and some random potassium levels that turned us to checking up on his sugar levels. The first thing they noticed were his sugar levels. They found him to be pre-diabetic. That was the first scare. We immediately went into survival mode and changed his diet drastically. DRASTICALLY! My husband was in the best and worst shape of his life (he says it himself). The path that diagnosis led us on was a sheer miracle. Had it not been for us checking his pre-diabetic symptoms, they would have never caught the cancer so early.I wanted to write a few things regarding both events that have changed our lives this past year. They both have a lot to do with trusting GOD and knowing He has a perfect plan in our lives.


This is from one of the first letters my husband sent out January 2012. [I went to the doc today and he told me it was cancer. He referred me to an oncologist and said that I might have to do chemo or radiation but it was up to the oncologist. I have had a lot of peace through this season and I trust that Gods perfect plan will be accomplished in my life. One thing I have realized is that I need to redeem the time and make every moment count towards eternal things--things that matter. Please pray for Wendy that Jesus would comfort her and fill her with His peace.] 

After this email was sent, he went in to get it removed and the TRUSTING began. Here is a portion of my email after the surgery and about 1 month out. [Today was Ron's Oncology appointment to give us the CT scan results and to give us further details of what's to come. Being in that office was very surreal to say the least. The day could not have felt longer. It was draining, but felt like when when you study for an exam for sooo long, your tired and just want it over with and want them to tell you if you passed. Not to mention sleep for 2 days after it's done. The doctor seemed to prolong it by chatting about Ron's family history and asking how the surgery was. He actually was telling us he was going to have Dr. Weinberg, the surgeon, go over the results with us. We just wanted him to read the results, so we just asked for them. The doctor said that the CAT scan came back CLEAR!!! PRAISE GOD - PRAISE GOD - PRAISE GOD!! I think in my head I just kept saying THANK YOU JESUS. Did I mention that God answers prayers? His favor, grace and mercy as simply amazing. Since no radiation is in store for Ron, we will be doing a couple things naturally that will (if there is anything there now) starve the cancer. We strongly believe that food matters and makes a big difference in ones health. All the processed food was not how God made this world. So, No sugar, juicing with a special juicer, supplements, Kangen alkaline water to switch his PH and keep it alkaline (which cancer can't breed in), moderate meats, lots of whole veggies and much more. This past year Ron made a huge change in his diet, so he is on the road to even better health. There is an ND that does shots of high doses of Vitamin C which helps with cancer (along with good immune). Also, Dr. Brodsky - my regular ND, does heat/thermo scanning that mostly women use for breast scans. This is highly effective and not damaging to the body. I hope to be able to use that in between the oncology scans for further precaution. Thank you all for supporting us, loving us, encouraging us and praying for us through life changing experience! As I reread my devotional, I realize even more that every morning God truly has a word for us. In every way God will try to reach out to us and guide us through life and our walk with Him. God just knows what we need, when we need it most. {Let Me prepare you for the day that stretches out before you. I know exactly what this day will contain, whereas you have only vague ideas about it. You would like to see a map, showing all the twists and turns of your journey. You’d feel more prepared if you could somehow visualize what is on the road ahead. However, there is a better way to be prepared for whatever you will encounter today: Spend quality time with Me.I will not show you what is on the road ahead, but I will thoroughly equip you for the journey. My living Presence is your Companion each step of the way. Stay in continual communication with Me, whispering My Name whenever you need to redirect your thoughts. Thus, you can walk through this day with your focus on Me. My abiding Presence is the best road map available.}The Lord replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”—Exodus 33:14 Love you all]

"Let Me prepare you". Yes, that is exactly what the Lord did. Not only did God prepare us for the road ahead of continual trust through Ron's cancer, but He brought us out of it and used that experience to prepare us for the next part of our journey. 2012 was a year of reflection and understanding what God has for us and the calling He has for our lives. We were brought back to what was most important, and with that, we spent a year of just being a tight family and tending to the calling God has in our lives.

Simplify. Love. Unity. Grace. Mercy. Learn. LIVE... ONE DAY AT A TIME.

We had been on a list for our future adoption for years now. Knowing that it would be in God's timing, we trusted. Yes, again, trusting trusting trusting.... that is our theme. Never once thinking about it while Ron was sick. Around the 6 month mark, they cleared Ron with a clean bill of health and just continued to check his levels and less frequent scans. We had not planned on any more changes in life, but in December 2012 we got "THE CALL". Had God prepared us for this? YES! Our family unit was as strong as ever. We knew that regardless of the outcome of the "plans" for this adoption, we were in God's will and we were to remain in it, no matter what. The irony in my life is that I have always found myself to be emotional as a child, but growing up in Christ, God has given me an internal strength that surpasses all understanding. Especially if you knew me back then. Handling all of these events and emotions is a sheer miracle.





Was God bringing us what we had been praying for? Matthew 7:7



{the wall board is a little present given to me by a dear friend}




{to my surprise we received our first picture of our soon to be baby girl}

My TWO Miracles. Sometimes I feel so unworthy of love and grace that God has bestowed upon me. I am not perfect and I lose sight of how amazing God is even now, but I have to always look back at the 4 lives that God has given me. ALL 4 are a true modern day Miracle!



My Blog will change. My life changed, why wouldn't it right? I am far more open about the struggles and blessings in my life. This blog began with my crafting and the works and gifting God has given me. Wool and Flax is based on the proverbs 31 woman. If you read all of 31, you will see that "she" helps. With her hands, she pursues good for her household. It also says, "She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue."

I pray that I can share more than what my hands create, but rather what God has created in and through my life. Stay tuned - I want to share more about my faith, health options, adoption and the pursuit of God's will through it all. It is so hard to find detailed instructions on adopting and what to expect, what to pray for, how to bond, how to not get lost in paperwork...as well as how to share with your children the beauty of how God grows your family. It's time to break the stereotype of what this world thinks adoption really is (and all the Disney movies show) and how amazing it is. It is such a WONDERFUL experience that not even my closest friends know it's entirety, yet.

It's always going to be my child's story to tell...but I also have a story and I feel people need to hear what God has shown me.