As spring come upon us in Homeschooling (with a newborn in the house) our motivation to finish school work was diminishing. Not just the kids, but myself included. We took a couple months off (kind of) after the baby was born and it became harder and harder to come back full force. I wanted to share the "rewards" system we implemented.
In October, while my husband was doing relief work in New Jersey after Hurricane Sandy hit, I became desperate for a solution for my kids constant battle and my parenting skills in understanding them. I couldn't understand how to make them get along, like the same things, not complain about each other, blah blah blah... you know. I knew their "love languages" and tried to implement those, but it didn't always make us get along. I could not get passed how I felt when my son would say or do things that I found disrespectful, while he didn't see the error of his ways. So I found this book The Child Whisperer by Carol Tuttle. I love self-help books and all my christian parenting books. I have to say that as a christian mom, I have to give my little disclaimer. It is NOT a typical christian book and it doesn't claim to be. You can research her and decide if you want to read it. It's a self-help. Use it as a tool and ALWAYS seek God's guidance first. Raising our children in the ways of the Lord comes first, in molding a God fearing heart in your child.
What I loved about this book is: Easy quick explanation about the 4 types and constant "tips". She does not stereotype your child, just gives you an insight to these types.
When I read it, I read type 3 first. I saw the word "physical" and new that had to be my first born. It was like she was describing him to the T. As I read it, it give me tips and explained things that made me realize... HE ISN'T BEING RUDE TO ME BECAUSE HE HATES ME. He didn't have a horrible sinful heart. I just didn't understand his way and therefor HE himself didn't understand "why" he did what he did. He was beginning to think he was just plain BAD. That ripped my heart out. He wasn't a bad kid, he just has a "push through, no aim just fire, get it done determination". What I love about the book is that she says that the world sees these are bad things and stereotypes us, when they are truly more of a blessing. It's part of who they are and how God created them. So you just redirect it and praise them for the blessings of their gifts. So for my son, I would say "You are so direct, I love that, but sometimes mama is a little more sensitive and it can come across as harsh." Instead of telling them "that was rude!" and feeling like they hate you, work around it and understand that all the members of your family may be "different". I explained to my son that he was different than his brother. His brother is a type 1, which just wants everyone happy and wants to have FUN! This child doesn't like to be pushed and the type 3 likes to push. OY! It's still a working process, but they give me the look of "you understand me" vs the look of "I feel so alone and no one understands me".
Ok, so I promise I did not digress. I had to explain this book (very briefly). So that you can understand the reward system I made. Let's review:
type 1 says "I have an idea! It will be so much fun!"
type 2 says "ok let's make a plan for that idea...."
type 3 says "plan is taking a long time, let's just get it DONE and GO!"
type 4 says "let's look at the big picture and see how we can make it better."
If you read the book it will go into detail!
I created the reward system as an extension in understanding them and motivating them. If you think about it, we all work for a living, and get rewards. While kids go to school and we tell them they have to complete it all "just because". God rewards us for our hard work and our diligence and this should be an example to them and raise them to be hardworking in whatever they set their mind on. Even if you are a type 1 and just want to have FUN ;)
Here is a snapshot of the reward system I created, gathering all the info I found in videos for "schooling" these types. You can use it for Homeschool, homework or just personal rewards from chores and such.
Here is how it works. Obey quickly, cheerfully and completely. It's a "daily" reward. If your child doesn't complete their task or if they don't do it in a timely manner (which was my problem), than they have tomorrow to try again. The work ultimately has to be completed, but they miss out on that days rewards.
They are laid out according to the types. Type 1, Fun reward. Type 2, quality time. Type 3, Cash. Type 4, Free time. I don't have a type 2 or 4 yet, but my husband and I are those types so we tried to figure it out that way. PLEASE leave me a comment if you think of something for those types! I would LOVE that.
If you are interested in the PDF/JPG of these pages, please leave me a comment and I would gladly share it. I am a graphic designer by trade so this is one of the little ways I can still create. LOL. Here is what the file looks like. This won't be a full resolution if you chose to print as is...
{Click to enlarge your view}
{Click to enlarge your view}
Let me know if you use it or if you want me to share ;)
"In all the work you are given, do the best you can. Work as though you are working for the Lord, not any earthly Master." Colossians 3:23
